Maryland "State Flag" Unis Disrespect State

September 5, 2011 - I'm casually watching ESPN like any other day, waiting for the first Monday game of the new college football season. It's Maryland hosting Miami, and I was expecting big things out of this game, considering the whole weekend of football.

I knew about Maryland's new uniforms. Two helmets: white with turtle shell pattern and black matte with nothing on it. Four jerseys: red and white, both with gradient numbers, and black and yellow, both with gradient shoulder designs. Four pants options: red, white, black, and yellow. More emphasis on turtle shell; after all, a terrapin is a turtle. I was a little shaky with the uniforms at first, but then they began to grow on me. The Terps warmed up in the all-white look, which was a little disappointing considering Miami's also wearing white helmets and pants. But I could get over that.

Then they went into the tunnel.

Then they came back out.

I took one look at these uniforms and I knew my sight was soon to be gone. The helmet: half red/white, half black/yellow (to represent the Maryland State Flag). The uniform: white with one red/white shoulder, one black/yellow. Same white pants as the warm-up. I know their colors and those uniforms pay homage to them being the only Maryland school that acknowlodges their state (because Frostburg State is too cocky to say they're from Maryland).

But these uniforms are a clusterf**k of colors and designs. Outside of me telling you the uniforms were based off the Maryland state flag or you Google-ing "Maryland state flag," how would you really know the funky striping was based off the flag? And the design isn't even accurately depicting the flag: the state flag has black/yellow above red/white on the left, and red/white over black/yellow on the right. The whole left of Maryland's uniforms were red/white, and the whole right as black/yellow.

I know Under Armour wanted attention. They want to be considered a "Top Tier" college football manufacturer. They wanted to give Nike and Adidias the big "eff you," and wanted to crush Russell (which isn't that hard...). But the difference between Nike's nutty Pro Combats and this monstrosity is (MOST) Pro Combat unis don't look like herpes designed them. The Nike unis have some sort of relavence, while keeping a sleek, sharp look. Under Armour's did not. And when Nike's top schools include #1 LSU, #9 Oregon, #3 Alabama, and countless others, when UA's top clients include South Carolina, Auburn, and Texas Tech, you know it's a long hill to climb to the top of the food chain.

But don't feel bad Under Armour. So what if you designed the craziest, ugliest, most-likely-to-give-you-blindness-and-crabs-at-the-same-time uniform of 2011. I'm sure someone did something even worse in the '90s. Here's looking at you, Turn Ahead the Clock baseball uniforms.