Well, the NBA is in a lockout with seemingly no end. The players need something to boost their confidence in these trying, depressing times. Why don't I tell them how ugly their uniforms are? I will be giving grades to all 30 NBA teams' CURRENT uniform set (home, road, alternate), throwbacks that teams use frequently during the season will not be assessed. Here we go:
Atlanta Hawks: First things first: the Hawks should be a red/black/yellow team. Navy/red is so overused in the Big 4 sports it's unreal. That being said, I like the sleek look of their designs. It really looks like an ideal uniform for a team called the Hawks. Put it in red/black/gold and it's an A. Until then, it's a B.
Boston Celtics: You cannot have a negative opinion on the Celtics' uniforms. They are regarded as the ultimate traditional jerseys in the NBA. The alternate is terrible, but the overall uniform set is a solid A-.
Charlotte Bobcats: Bobcats are orange. Orange should be primary here. The current uniforms scream more "We're pondering to the Carolina fans rather than Bobcat fans." Racing stripes belong on a racetrack, not on a basketball uniform. These are a hot mess. I give them a C-.
Chicago Bulls: Another traditional look that cannot be touched. I'd rather use their current script on their uniforms rather than the cursive script used during Jordan's early years. I give the Bulls unis a B+.
Cleveland Cavaliers: LeBron left. You guys suck. GET OVER IT. Your uniforms are so plain, and with a great color scheme like yours, they should be a lot better. I hate Cleveland and their unis. Here's a D+.
Dallas Mavericks: I like the Mavs' unis, but there are some flaws. First, the "tramp stamp" striping on the shorts MUST go. Second, bring back the navy blue jerseys, those had a sharp look to them. The champs' unis are a solid B+.
Denver Nuggets: Another team with jerseys that have some room for improvement. I love their color scheme. Two-tone blue and yellow really work. I don't like the way they use white a lot, especially when it clashes with the powder blue. Overall, I'd give Denver a B.
Detroit Pistons: Boring design? Check. Boring and overused color scheme? Check. Terrible roster that seems to have no future in the league? Check. A D+? Of course.
Golden State Warriors: I must admit, I hated the most recent re-brand. Why does a team called the "Warriors" not have a warrior on the logo? Other than that, I love the design, color scheme, and tradition of these jerseys. A great A-.
Houston Rockets: Get some more colors in here. Red and white cannot do it all. Why not add the yellow they had in the 90s? The design is perfect, but they need color. A B-.
Indiana Pacers: First off, what's a Pacer? These uniforms are very sleek and work well with the navy/gold/silver color scheme. A solid B here.
Los Angeles Clippers: This most recent jersey overall was perfect. Sleek look, but boring colors. Red/white/blue is too overused in sports. Maybe go Virginia Tech with maroon/orange? Right now, the Clippers are a B+.
Los Angeles Lakers: Again, tradition cannot be screwed around with. The yellow (get over it LA, that is nowhere near gold, it's YELLOW) at home, purple on the road is classic. But I hate the Lakers as a franchise. Either way, the uniforms are a A-.
Memphis Grizzlies: Amazing colors. Again, two-tone blue and yellow works perfectly. They have a great design and do not clash their colors. Some of the best uniforms in the league are worn in Memphis. A solid A.
Miami Heat: My favorite team, but their unis need work. With a name of the "Heat," there can be many amazing ideas of uniform designs. Utilize the yellow more often, maybe a sleeker look. For now, we'll give Miami a B.
From the Milwaukee Bucks to the new-look Washington Wizards will be posted tomorrow. Don't forget to check out my Sports blog, SouthBeachDPV Sports, and keep viewing this one.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Spartans/Wolves: Not Easy on the Eyes
Michigan and Michigan State both have traditional, classy uniforms that reflect on their rich football histories. Both Nike (for the Spartans) and Adidas (for Michigan) decided to blind us with that history.
It was already announced that Michigan State would go bronze/green/black for this game. When no article of the uniform (helmet, jersey, and/or pants) match, it becomes a recipe for disaster. Most people were angry at the fact MSU brought in not one, but TWO unofficial school colors (bronze and black) into these jerseys. Honestly, as long as they remain secondary parts of the uniform, and we're not suddenly rolling out an all-bronze jersey, I have no problem with it. If they had paired this uniform with bronze or green pants, I wouldn't be complaining. But the black really kills this, and it clashes with the green. The striping is boring and overused. With a team called the Spartans, why not throw some Spartan design on the shoulders?
Michigan was even worse. I always knew the Wolverines as a blue and maize team. We saw the navy throwbacks against Notre Dame, complete with numbers scrunched on the helmet, maize stripes all the way around the shoulders, and a big yellow M on the chest. Yuck. Today, Michigan went a step forward (which, in jersey talk, is two steps back). They went with white pants. Blasphemy! Michigan only wears blue/white/maize on the road, in no circumstance may they ever be allowed to wear anything else. The gigantic M was cropped and moved to the lower left shoulder, and was replaced by an oversized number. The numbers on the helmet are still only viewable with a telescope. And the maize striping on the shoulders became a blue-and-maize striping pattern. They looked like Stormtroopers ran away from the Empire and joined the circus (Star Wars reference - I'm such a nerd).
You know then old saying "Opposites attract?" Well these jerseys were clearly not opposites, as the game as a whole looked atrocious. The dirty, grimy look of Michigan State combined with the carny-inspired Michigan striping made for a terrible looking game. On the other hand, watching Michigan lose their undefeated status and begin their probable late season, "Well we lost to Michigan State so the season doesn't matter anymore" collapse is priceless.
It was already announced that Michigan State would go bronze/green/black for this game. When no article of the uniform (helmet, jersey, and/or pants) match, it becomes a recipe for disaster. Most people were angry at the fact MSU brought in not one, but TWO unofficial school colors (bronze and black) into these jerseys. Honestly, as long as they remain secondary parts of the uniform, and we're not suddenly rolling out an all-bronze jersey, I have no problem with it. If they had paired this uniform with bronze or green pants, I wouldn't be complaining. But the black really kills this, and it clashes with the green. The striping is boring and overused. With a team called the Spartans, why not throw some Spartan design on the shoulders?
Michigan was even worse. I always knew the Wolverines as a blue and maize team. We saw the navy throwbacks against Notre Dame, complete with numbers scrunched on the helmet, maize stripes all the way around the shoulders, and a big yellow M on the chest. Yuck. Today, Michigan went a step forward (which, in jersey talk, is two steps back). They went with white pants. Blasphemy! Michigan only wears blue/white/maize on the road, in no circumstance may they ever be allowed to wear anything else. The gigantic M was cropped and moved to the lower left shoulder, and was replaced by an oversized number. The numbers on the helmet are still only viewable with a telescope. And the maize striping on the shoulders became a blue-and-maize striping pattern. They looked like Stormtroopers ran away from the Empire and joined the circus (Star Wars reference - I'm such a nerd).
You know then old saying "Opposites attract?" Well these jerseys were clearly not opposites, as the game as a whole looked atrocious. The dirty, grimy look of Michigan State combined with the carny-inspired Michigan striping made for a terrible looking game. On the other hand, watching Michigan lose their undefeated status and begin their probable late season, "Well we lost to Michigan State so the season doesn't matter anymore" collapse is priceless.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Maryland "State Flag" Unis Disrespect State
September 5, 2011 - I'm casually watching ESPN like any other day, waiting for the first Monday game of the new college football season. It's Maryland hosting Miami, and I was expecting big things out of this game, considering the whole weekend of football.
I knew about Maryland's new uniforms. Two helmets: white with turtle shell pattern and black matte with nothing on it. Four jerseys: red and white, both with gradient numbers, and black and yellow, both with gradient shoulder designs. Four pants options: red, white, black, and yellow. More emphasis on turtle shell; after all, a terrapin is a turtle. I was a little shaky with the uniforms at first, but then they began to grow on me. The Terps warmed up in the all-white look, which was a little disappointing considering Miami's also wearing white helmets and pants. But I could get over that.
Then they went into the tunnel.
Then they came back out.
I took one look at these uniforms and I knew my sight was soon to be gone. The helmet: half red/white, half black/yellow (to represent the Maryland State Flag). The uniform: white with one red/white shoulder, one black/yellow. Same white pants as the warm-up. I know their colors and those uniforms pay homage to them being the only Maryland school that acknowlodges their state (because Frostburg State is too cocky to say they're from Maryland).
But these uniforms are a clusterf**k of colors and designs. Outside of me telling you the uniforms were based off the Maryland state flag or you Google-ing "Maryland state flag," how would you really know the funky striping was based off the flag? And the design isn't even accurately depicting the flag: the state flag has black/yellow above red/white on the left, and red/white over black/yellow on the right. The whole left of Maryland's uniforms were red/white, and the whole right as black/yellow.
I know Under Armour wanted attention. They want to be considered a "Top Tier" college football manufacturer. They wanted to give Nike and Adidias the big "eff you," and wanted to crush Russell (which isn't that hard...). But the difference between Nike's nutty Pro Combats and this monstrosity is (MOST) Pro Combat unis don't look like herpes designed them. The Nike unis have some sort of relavence, while keeping a sleek, sharp look. Under Armour's did not. And when Nike's top schools include #1 LSU, #9 Oregon, #3 Alabama, and countless others, when UA's top clients include South Carolina, Auburn, and Texas Tech, you know it's a long hill to climb to the top of the food chain.
But don't feel bad Under Armour. So what if you designed the craziest, ugliest, most-likely-to-give-you-blindness-and-crabs-at-the-same-time uniform of 2011. I'm sure someone did something even worse in the '90s. Here's looking at you, Turn Ahead the Clock baseball uniforms.
I knew about Maryland's new uniforms. Two helmets: white with turtle shell pattern and black matte with nothing on it. Four jerseys: red and white, both with gradient numbers, and black and yellow, both with gradient shoulder designs. Four pants options: red, white, black, and yellow. More emphasis on turtle shell; after all, a terrapin is a turtle. I was a little shaky with the uniforms at first, but then they began to grow on me. The Terps warmed up in the all-white look, which was a little disappointing considering Miami's also wearing white helmets and pants. But I could get over that.
Then they went into the tunnel.
Then they came back out.
I took one look at these uniforms and I knew my sight was soon to be gone. The helmet: half red/white, half black/yellow (to represent the Maryland State Flag). The uniform: white with one red/white shoulder, one black/yellow. Same white pants as the warm-up. I know their colors and those uniforms pay homage to them being the only Maryland school that acknowlodges their state (because Frostburg State is too cocky to say they're from Maryland).
But these uniforms are a clusterf**k of colors and designs. Outside of me telling you the uniforms were based off the Maryland state flag or you Google-ing "Maryland state flag," how would you really know the funky striping was based off the flag? And the design isn't even accurately depicting the flag: the state flag has black/yellow above red/white on the left, and red/white over black/yellow on the right. The whole left of Maryland's uniforms were red/white, and the whole right as black/yellow.
I know Under Armour wanted attention. They want to be considered a "Top Tier" college football manufacturer. They wanted to give Nike and Adidias the big "eff you," and wanted to crush Russell (which isn't that hard...). But the difference between Nike's nutty Pro Combats and this monstrosity is (MOST) Pro Combat unis don't look like herpes designed them. The Nike unis have some sort of relavence, while keeping a sleek, sharp look. Under Armour's did not. And when Nike's top schools include #1 LSU, #9 Oregon, #3 Alabama, and countless others, when UA's top clients include South Carolina, Auburn, and Texas Tech, you know it's a long hill to climb to the top of the food chain.
But don't feel bad Under Armour. So what if you designed the craziest, ugliest, most-likely-to-give-you-blindness-and-crabs-at-the-same-time uniform of 2011. I'm sure someone did something even worse in the '90s. Here's looking at you, Turn Ahead the Clock baseball uniforms.
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